To the beginning of living out loud

I always see people posting their thoughts on social media and thought how amazing it is that they believe that they have something important to share. I think I have something to say and yet not sure if it’s worth sharing, but why not? I think I write poorly, bad grammar (this may be a difficult piece to read for grammar police, but maybe this could be a test of letting go? : p ), don’t know much words, run on sentences and can’t seem to string my thoughts together in a presentable piece.  However, lately, I discovered the only way I can make a sustainable change is to share and to live out loud. So with a ‘Who cares?’ and ‘Just for go for it!’ attitude, here goes:

2018 is going to be an important year for me.  I have recently made a huge life decision, to quit my comfortable full-time job to pursue my dream as the co-founder of a non-profit. Our mission is to provide free art therapy services to everyone!  When I first made this decision, I was desperately researching everything possible for reassurance. I wondered what my zodiac sign says about this coming year; what does the dog year hold for me; how will my combination of a leo dragon destined personality aid me in this big change. After all that, I decided that this is going to be a big year, not because of, but because I say so. 

Working on my dream full time had officially happened on March 1st. Leading up to it,  I was going crazy trying to find a way to organize my life. I was dying to find the perfect way to structure the organization with Lacey (my co-founder and best friend).  I wanted us to be 100% prepared when the time comes.  I wanted to know how to be a good leader,  how we can make sure the organization runs smoothly. In my head, it started with a flawless operation budget, and then an immaculate strategy plan and of course with the world’s best informational video of all the art therapy goodness stuffed in less than 2 mins, (so not to lose the audience’s attention).  This impeccably planned idea had then turned into Netflixing my favourite Marvel movies, two in a row!

To be completely honest, I wanted to be a therapist to fix my parents.  When I was younger, I saw them fight all the time, and thought to myself, ‘they’re so old, why can’t they get their shit together?’.  After trying to be an adult for the past years, I realized, shit can never be gotten. Reflecting on our family, I’m proud of how my two brothers and I have turned out.  I have to say, after all the complaint and resistance, I think my parents did a damn good job! As a therapist, I have decided that I would not be fixing anybody.  I will be a mirror, a bowl, and a blank canvas, to facilitate reflection, support, a source of creativity and free expression, to provide freedom for each of our authentic self. 

So far, this entrepreneurial journey has been kicking my ass upside down! (More on that on my next post) However, I can see my vision so clearly.  A world with free mental health services; a world with a perfect partnership between physical, mental and spiritual awareness; a world where everyone gets to be who they want to be; a world where everyone has access to their bottomless potentials. I fully understand that making a statement like that comes with great responsibilities, I am so scared and I know I'm finally ready to take it on. 

Change is the only constant thing, my pineapple bro once said to me. Damn straight it’s changing now, I get to choose my attitude though.  I've spent so much time getting excited about the person I want to be – I just need to be.

I am a mental health advocate, the Pocahontas and Lilo combination to create sustainable changes in this world. : )

Pearl Lee